More Snow?

Well, just after my last rant about how I want it to warm up, so I can get outside and get rid of my cabin fever, they announce that we'll be having another snow storm. Actually, I think they're calling it a 'snowicane' because of the potential for 60 mph winds. It's actually another Nor' Easter, but it's moving along a different path than the typical nor easter like the other three we've had this season.

I can't say that I mind all that much,the snow always does look beautiful right after falling. Hopefully immediately after the temperature will skyrocket to get rid of some of the snow on the ground. One beef I have though, is that I can't afford to have my work canceled, because I won't get paid so hopefully that won't happen!

Anyway, I must say that I'm so excited that Kurt is finally done BOLC! He should be on his way here to spend the week with me! I couldn't be happier! Everything is moving along, and the wedding is right around the corner! I have to say that I do miss visiting him in Missouri though, we really did so many things there. I think we visited almost every state park in the area, and our New Years Eve event was epic. I need to get some photos here so I can post them on the blog!

Hurry Up and Wait!

I came to the conclusion today that I'm in need of some serious serenity. I don't know, maybe I need to meditate or something. All I know is, I'm not being very nice to people and I'm especially quick to irritate this past week and today (my appologies to everyone, :P). I feel like when I'm not with Kurt doing something fun, I'm just bored and anxious all the time, and I've reached my limit.

I think the snow has something to do with it too, because I feel like I just need a few hours to sit in the woods, or go running in the state park and not be around anyone, but I can't because the snow has been on the ground preventing me from going outside for the past three weeks! A long winter is not beautiful here in Delaware. The trees look pretty the day after a storm, but farm fields not-so-much, nor the mounds of brown/black snow on either side of the street. 40 inches of snow later, we've had enough.

Instead of going outside, I've been reading novels that take place outside and dreaming about being there, which only contributes to my frustration.
I have to say the biggest issue right now is my job. I do like my job DESCRIPTION, but because I'm fairly new to the work that needs to be done, my job consists of sitting in front of the computer, finishing my assignments and then being bored and feeling unproductive, which also makes me feel more irritated and antsy.I can't take on larger assignments because I don't have enough experience dealing with permitting larger projects. Blah office jobs!! It's definitely time to go back to school and be challenged by something. I think I'm more used to school where your days alternate, you learn something new every day, you have homework and projects that challenge you, and relate to what you like (like the paper I had to write on the phylogeography of sea turtles, or my horseshoe crab stuff, or something, not making a list of contacts for every enviro consultant in Delmarva). I know Duke is super expensive, but if I go there, I can go back to doing the fun challenging stuff again! :) :)

Anyways, when I'm at work, I find myself filling up these moments of boredom with worrying about logistical things that will need to take place in the next month; all of the wedding stuff I need to get done, worrying about money and school, and worrying about taking off of work and moving to NC. The only problem is, right now, I've finished all I can get done now to prepare for everything , so it's like I can only plan so much, and hurry so much, and then I just have to wait until I can complete the next task. Therefore, I'm stuck thinking about it over and over, but can't do anything.

I'm half worried, half excited and impatient about all of these changes! I cannot wait to move to NC and be with Kurt, and start our new life there. That being said, lets get on with it already! lol. I'm bored, and cold!

I definitely need to stop bitching though. Here's my list of things to do, to make myself less abrasive to others (haha) and less irritated:

1) Work out at the gym this week
2) Sew this stupid bear thing I bought (yes, I bought a sewing project. NERD!)
3) Go find bows to put on the wedding favors
4) Go to Killens as soon as the snow melts
5) Buy my bridesmaid gifts
6) Go get final dress fitting and visit UD friends for dinner
7) Make a list of scholarships to apply for to fund Duke


Hurry up April :)

Reminiscing

I have to say, that today I really really miss UD!

I miss freshman year, when I met my favorite roommate for the first time :)
I miss getting up early, with my books in hand and Angels and Airwaves in my headphones, treking to the Perkins Center or the Library to get coffee before class.
I miss spending time with Lisa and our many dive classes and trips!
I miss main street; the book stores, restaurants,clothing shops, etc (including going with Taryn to Dunkin before Ichthyology class!)
I miss living in the towers, and accidentally making burned chocolate (lol Colleen)
I miss the University Garden Apartments, Watching friends, and Taco Tuesday!
I miss the sorority! (especially I weekend and rushing)
I miss CLASS! Especially my wildlife classes filled with friends, crazy dendrology profs, and silly graduate students who make jokes about whales and PBR (hah)
I miss taxonomy
I miss homework (I know, thats a sign that it's time for grad school!)
I miss Smith Hall and Kirkbride, especially in the spring
I miss study abroad trips, especially Costa Rica, and every person who was there
I miss Nancite Beach, and hiking to get there
I miss counting horseshoe crabs and living in Lewes acting like a marine science grad
I miss after-lab Deer Park dinners!
I miss being able to walk home from the bar
I miss people EXPECTING me to be irresponsible at times, and that being okay
I miss 63 New London Road
I miss St. Patty's day at Grottos
I miss coming home on breaks and seeing my best friends
I miss the weekend I met Kurt
I miss going to visit Kurt at West Point
I miss Pitt, camping, and going to Cape Henlopen, Assateague Island, and White Clay Creek State Park to attempt fishing

Now, I can't wait to start grad school and life with my amazing husband-to-be. However, it sure does feel great knowing that after all of those amazing experiences, I achieved what I set out to do while at the University of Delaware, and I had damn good time doing it.

Angry Face!

LOVE Colbie Caillat :)

"Seems that nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of gray and I feel the weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd wanna go
But now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Here before my eyes, many roads ahead
Time for me to choose one way now
If I take a chance, what lies down the road?
Feeling so confused, turned around."


This is totally true. Sometimes we feel like all of our dreams have come true, and then we look more closely, and we feel frightened; afraid of growing up.

All of these things coming down at once. Who would have thought, that after a blink of an eye we start from irresponsible teenager/college students and then, almost like some tribal coming-of-age ceremony (aka graduation)we transform into adults that shouldn't be acting out, shouldn't be consuming mass amounts of alcohol and procrastinating on homework, and can't fall back on our parents anymore to throw college tuition money at us.

I feel like yesterday I graduated, and now I'm 35 years old. There was no in-between! No transition! Now I'm expected to have a perfect job and take on all of these responsibilities. Taking out loans to pay for school is no longer affordable or accapetable. Some people went into college with debt. I, however, did not. Thanks to my wonderful parents who I'm very very grateful for, I was able to go through four full years at Delaware with not a penny of debt. Now that I want to take out some loans myself to go to graduate school, some people are telling me that its silly to take out loans and acquire debt. That its time to grow up and start making money. But, what about people in medical school? Getting their MBAs? Those professional schools cost money. They're not paid with a stipend and full tuition waivers (unless you get a scholarship/fellowship); yet no one views them as making a poor financial decision.

On the flip side, I feel like if I were to do some other things, they would still be considered unnaceptable because I'm too young. What about having kids?? Some people would say I'm too young, and need to accomplish other things first.

What's the in between? How does society 'tell' us to take on all of these adult responsibilites so fast, yet we still judged by society on other issues?

I feel like because I'm almost 23 years old, and about to get married, I should be able to make my own decisions, and whatever they may be, they should be accepted by society. If I want to take loans out for school, I can make that decision. My decisions are my own, and mine alone (or my husband's too because its 'US').

If I want to go to grad school and take out 30,000 bucks in debt, I will. I'm not too old to do that. If I want to have a kid, I will! I'm not too young! And, even more "un-acceptable", if I want to do BOTH, I will. It's no one else's business but mine!

:) okay, I'm done.

Happy

Here I am, sitting at work, bored as anything (a lot of ppl couldn't come in today, because they're stuck in the snow!) Since I have nothing to do, I can't help but think of the good things that I have, because I really feel blessed in my life (note the smiley fish, I think he is a good representation of my mood right now!). I have an amazing fiance, a great family, friends, and an awesome job.

But while I continue to think about how wonderful all of those things are,
I can't help but feel a little happy about this as well :)

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-public-affairs-schools/environmental-management

Duke is ranked #3 out of all Environmental Policy and Management Master's programs in the US. Harvard is #7 (thanks for pointing that out Jacq, lol) Maybe it is worth those loans afterall? :)

Ready for Summer

So, this is the view from the Duke Marine Lab, in Beaufort, NC. If I end up enrolling at Duke, I will get to do research HERE my second year in the program, and at least go visit and go to the beach during my free time (with Kurt on the weekends too!)during the first year.

Who wouldn't want to go here??? :)

Think Before You Speak!

Ok, so I'm not trying to be the die hard liberal here at all. If you know me well, you know that I'm pretty moderate in most cases, but I do work for the State of Delaware, and a lot of my work focuses on climate change (and resulting sea level rise) mitigation and adaptation.

That being said, I am completely infuriated by people who continue to post things on facebook about how the two blizzards that happened in the past week, are indications that climate change/global warming doesn't exist (and I'm not posting this because you asked me about it babe:) lol). This is more in the response to someone who shall not me named, who lives at home with their parents and has held the same political views as them, for their entire like 30 years of life, or however old this said person is. Now, I'm not saying that I believe that those of you who disagree with climate change have no merit. There are plenty of people out there that have tried and continue to succeed at finding scientific evidence suggesting that climate change is just a natural cycle on the earth. These people are intelligent. They have scientific backgrounds, and they UNDERSTAND both sides of the argument, yet try to disprove the other. Also, I commend those people who agree with these scientists, or just don't believe in climate change but actually take the time to research the subject. If you look into both sides and decide for yourself that's what you want to believe, then go for it, good for you..

HOWEVER.... Don't post shitty things on your news feed, about how Al Gore sucks (I'm not a HUGE fan either, but that's beside the point), or tell me that I shouldn't be too upset if my fiance goes to war, and therefore want this war to come to a (quick, but also safe and appropriate) end because he 'chose to be in the army and so we can't be upset about deployment.'

Now that I've vented (and I'm sorry), let me give you some information to chew on. I wouldn't have a job, if it weren't for the people living on the coast, in Delaware (Bower's beach, for example), wanting to know and understand what they can do, to be ready for the increase of about 3ft of sea level rise in the next 100 years. Yes, 3 feet doesn't sound like a lot, and 'you' might not think its a big deal, or understand that it is, in fact, due to the increase in temperature of the water (due to climate change), which causes the expansion of water molecules, among other things. Their town will go under water. I'm not just saying that to be dramatic, we actually have inundation maps made with GIS, along with LiDAR elevation data to prove this. In addition, I'm not just unloading this because I'm an activist (I tend to not want to voice my political opinions because I hate arguing), I'm just sick of people who don't take the time to educate themselves on an issue, and then continue to publicly bash all issues that are considered 'liberal,' one being climate change.

Now, back to the issue at hand. Before you talk any kind of smack on these last 2 blizzards, and tell me that it disproves climate change, check out this article by Time Magazine, 'East Coast Blizzard Tied to Global Warming'
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1962294,00.html

in case you don't want to take the time to read it, here are the high points:

"The 2009 U.S. Climate Impacts Report found that large-scale cold-weather storm systems have gradually tracked to the north in the U.S. over the past 50 years. While the frequency of storms in the middle latitudes has decreased as the climate has warmed, the intensity of those storms has increased. That's in part because of global warming — hotter air can hold more moisture, so when a storm gathers it can unleash massive amounts of snow. Colder air, by contrast, is drier; if we were in a truly vicious cold snap, like the one that occurred over much of the East Coast during parts of January, we would be unlikely to see heavy snowfall.But as far as winter storms go, shouldn't climate change make it too warm for snow to fall? Eventually that is likely to happen — but probably not for a while. In the meantime, warmer air could be supercharged with moisture and, as long as the temperature remains below 32°F, it will result in blizzards rather than drenching winter rainstorms."


And FINALLY, yet most importantly,

"It's a mistake to use any one storm — or even a season's worth of storms — to disprove climate change (or to prove it; some environmentalists have wrongly tied the lack of snow in Vancouver, the site of the Winter Olympic Games, which begin this week, to global warming). Weather is what will happen next weekend; climate is what will happen over the next decades and centuries. And while our ability to predict the former has become reasonably reliable, scientists are still a long way from being able to make accurate projections about the future of the global climate."

If you can refute these statements with some cited information of your own, go for it.


But basically, please everyone stop talking without backing yourselves up with some solid science! The people in the field of climate change adaptation will continue to do what they do to plan for something that may or may not happen, and the people, some of which who have never researched a scientific paper on climate change in their life, will continue to run their mouths discrediting science they don't even comprehend. Lastly, above it all, for those of us who do believe that the results of climate change will be devastating and actually want to do something about it, what really is the harm in playing it safe?

Finally!

Dear Kathleen:

Congratulations! Your application and supporting documents have been carefully reviewed by the Admissions and Awards Committee of the Nicholas School of the Environment at Duke University and I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to begin study in the professional master’s degree program commencing with the 2010 fall semester.

For those of you who know, April of last year (2009) was a very stressful time for me. I tried, without success, to apply to graduate school. My life was consumed by the decisions I would receive. Once I didn't get accepted anywhere, I was devastated, and felt that I had no self worth. Rediculous, I know. Instead, I found a job, had some free time to see visit Kurt and do the things we love to do, and by doing that, I realized that I was more than just my academic career; my amazing fiance, family, hobbies, values, etc, make me who I am.

Once we realized that we'll be living in NC to go to Fort Bragg, I decided to apply to grad school again. This time, however, I knew it would be just a piece of my plan for the future, not the whole thing. I was content knowing that if it didn't work out, I could find another job, spend time getting settled together in NC, and take it from there.

Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised to get this email last night! Finally! My hard work has paid off. Although the program is expensive, right now I'm just basking in the contentment of finally achieving my goal. One that I almost gave up on after the discouragement of taking the GRE twice, and having professors tell me I was close, but just not close enough, to being admitted.

Finally, the only thing I want to say is, YAY!!! :)

Only Two Months Left!

It's official. As of tomorrow, there are only 60 days left until I am Mrs. Kat Hoenke. That being said, the invitations are all addressed, stamped, and ready to go out! The blizzard allowed for work to be canceled, and for me to have much needed time to get these things done. Hopefully the additional 10 inches expected tomorrow night doesn't put a damper on my Valentine's Day date in MO with Kurt!

It's crazy, sometimes I really think luck is on our side with this wedding; the tiniest coincidences just keep happening. For example, the rehearsal dinner place happens to have a huge painting on the wall of army cadets in the same uniform Kurt used to wear. We didn't even know until after we booked it! Also, the post office just happened to have EXACTLY 150 wedding style stamps today. Needless to say, everything is going really smoothly, and hopefully stays that way!

My Mom ordered M&Ms to put in the favors, they're light yellow, blue and purple, and will have our faces on them, as well as some little thinks like K+K April 2010. Too cute!

Blizzard in Delaware!

So, here we all sit in good ol' Dover, awaiting the "Blizzard Conditions" that are supposed to start at around noon today. Up to 24 inches of snow! It's unbelievable. From working at the Delaware Coastal Programs, where we're designing a climate change adaptation plan for the state, I should say that climate change is causing an increase in "Nor' Easter" storms, and therefore I should be upset that it's about to snow buckets down on my little apartment in the middle of East Bumble****. However, I have to say I'm really happy about it! I love the snow, and I feel like we need one more blast before spring arrives. I'm trying to get home before the snow starts today, so that I can get our invitations addressed before the end of the weekend!

Moving on, after looking at the Duke website today, they already have their weekend for admitted students (March 26-27) posted on the web! I'm hoping to hear some kind of news in the next two weeks!
Ugh, I hate waiting. I really wish I was doing something right now to keep myself busy, like off somewhere with Kurt, in some wilderness camping :)

Inching Forward!

We're supposed to get a foot of snow this weekend, AGAIN. I don't know what's going on with that. I feel like one yr we have no snow, and now it's been slowing non-stop. The state can't really afford to pay DelDOT workers to plow on the weekends/overtime so this should be interesting. I'm going to attempt to make it up to Wallingford before the snow starts, but I doubt that will happen. I like the snow though, reminds me of going to Marquette with Kurt.

Anyway, after coming in to work today, I got an email from the professor I want to work with at NC State, asking me if we could have a phone interview/discussion! This is good news! I would definitely love to work in his lab, he does more applied research, measuring the success of protected areas and conservation practices by looking at wildlife populations, among other things. If I get in here, I'm going to definitely need a new pair of hiking boots. I still feel like Duke is my first choice, but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do financially :(. I guess we'll just let the chips fall and see if I get in, and what money is offered.

I really really can't wait to live with Kurt. I started looking up some more apartments more closely today, and found one that seems perfect. It'd be right in between Bragg and Raleigh/Durham, and aparently a lot of military families live there too. The same company owns 4 or so apartment communities in the area, and all of them look great. I guess it's just a matter of what one we like the best! HOpefully Kurt will like this one too. I really miss him a lot today, looking up apartments and planning out our lives together makes me feel closer to him.

I realized yesterday that the best way to get motivation to go to the gym, for me, is to pack my work out clothes and go straight from work, so that's the plan for today.

Going Crazy

So, I think I have officially gone crazy. I mean, I know the wedding stuff, grad schools/jobs, and Kurt maybe being deployed, is enough to stress me out.... but to leave your car with the keys locked in, STILL RUNNING for 9 hours, that's just a symptom of insanity. I don't know what I can do to remedy this situation, but whatever it is, I better figure it out fast.

I applied for another job today. A fisheries technician job that is about a half our away from Fayetteville. It would only be from May to October, but if I got into graduate school, maybe I could work there for the summer (it pays up to 20 bucks an hour) to save some money for Kurt and I. A gal has to contribute to the family income right? ;). Who knows with these jobs though, half the time they don't even call back!

I had my dress fitting last night too, the dress is beautiful, but I really need to go to the gym more. Just as I suspected, last night provided a giant blast of work out motivation. Off to the gym I go!

Just Passing the Time

So, in an attempt to pass the time before the wedding and grad school notifications go out, I decided that reading would be the best way to keep my anxiety down. Basically, I'm hoping to acquire a huge pile of books that will keep me busy for the next three weeks. I've found that the best way to actually do this is Ebay! Right now, I'm reading "Moon Shell Beach", by Nancy Thayer, and I got the book hard back, basically new, for $4.00!



I've found that books with beach settings, or forest settings, calm me down the most (even though I love suspensful ones too. My favorite was "The Hunger Games", by Suzanne Collins. BOTH OF THEM, you won't be able to put them down). I enjoy the author's description of being outside, and the feelings associated with it. I really love Luanne Rice, and she had Moon Shell Beach on her recommended list. In the book, one of the women owns a chocolate shop on Nantucket. I always love reading books like this. I sometimes wish I could own a bakery, or a flower shop, or even a bed and breakfast by the ocean. Eh, maybe someday ;). I have always wanted to go to Nantucket though, maybe Kurt and I could go sometime!

I also am going to try to kick working out into high gear now that the wedding is two months away! I went running yesterday, and it was freezing. Snow was still on the ground too, but it was fun. Made me feel much more relaxed.

Dress fitting tonight!!

The Economy = Blah.

So, I just asked a prospective advisor from UNC what the status of my application was, and he replied by saying that it was 'on hold for the moment, funding issues are the biggest challenge.'

GAHH!!!

Again?? Really? Won't the economy get any better for us poor youngins that just want to further our education?

Same goes for NC State. My prospective advisor there has time for a student, but can't fund them. He said he'd be willing to accept me if I could pay for my first year (which could be a possibility bc I will be an NC resident at that time).

Needless to say, Duke, which would cost a bajillion dollars anyway, should start sending out acceptance/rejection emails starting the end of next week, and continuing on until March 15.

The waiting game continues.........